A Final Countdown…

It’s the beginning of the end.

Okay, let me just be a little less serious about the fact the fourth year starts this upcoming week. I was giving my previous first-day reflections over the last three years, trying to get a sense of where I was at with each of them. I’d been trying to find my place at school, attempted to navigate a year of Zoom, or flat out physically incapable of being present for classes. Nothing about how I could have anticipated school going these last three years has gone to plan. Instead, I have left myself in a space wherein I do not have the expectations of giving myself as much hope about what’s to come.

It isn’t necessarily about wishing or wanting things to come out of this upcoming year that I think are important. Rather, I instead am trying to sort of pre-emptively leave myself with the necessary space to expect anything to become possible. So much of my doubt and general anxiety about life came fundamentally from thinking how things will feel too smooth. In the last two years alone, I don’t think I could have been more unprepared for how to cope with a significant portion of what’s happened. As a result, I’m just left over here feeling pretty ambivalent about where my life is at.

The other facet of thinking about college at this point is that I am not thinking enough about, and not reflecting more personally, on my political…