What am I writing for today?
I’m writing this post late (due to some unforeseen circumstances that prove life/people in your life come before everything else). But, as I was unable to get to writing the blog on the usual Saturday, I really began asking myself a few questions that I thought were significant at this particular moment.
- Why do I still choose to write the blog?
- How has my life changed in continuing to write here?
- Do I want to continue writing once I graduate?
I don’t think I want to go through all the rationale in writing all that I have over the last five and a half years, but I do think it might be worth sitting with these questions. myself in this moment. I can only hope that this will give me some loose foundation of what to expect going forward. Maybe this can offer me some clarity on where things could go next.
Why do I choose to write? I think that the obvious answer I gave myself (and others) is that I wanted to read directly about how my life has shifted and changed over time. It’s been a practice where I don’t delete anything that I’ve written, cringed at the past, and hoped that this ritual would allow me to continue to better grow as a person. But I wish to expand a bit more on the intrinsic part of the reasons for why I write, and why it ends up being with some sort of audience. I write because (at this point) I don’t know how to better articulate the way that I conceive of the world. I tried the whole audio recording thing to myself, I tried taking notes following therapist sessions, and I do document life with photos when spending time with friends. I have talked about how important it is for me to identify as a writer and to embrace being a writer, for all the pros and cons that can come with it. But, I think that one of the things I have admired about writing for me is how comfortably I can articulate my own grievances about the world in a concise manner. I am not shy to write, rather than speak out, exactly how I’m feeling. I think that means something, even if I don’t exactly know where that takes me.
The second question requires very little elaboration. I have learned more about myself in writing this blog and living up to the words I write here than anywhere else. When I didn’t know how…