It’s a Relief To Be Done

Well, I graduated today from undergrad.

This week really has felt like quite the experience of seeing everything from the past abruptly emerge when nobody sees it coming. Then again, it is a time when all the people are back after four years together. Part of me has spent most of the day feeling slightly just disappointed about the ending that I didn’t anticipate. The other facet of it too probably came from the way that I know the next few months are going to bring me back to near-complete isolation. But I think that the biggest thing that really stood out for me was that I was very okay that things were coming to a close.

So much of the last four years for me has been about really trying to figure out what lasting impression I leave on the people I care about. For so many reasons, I have come to be more trusting of my instincts, for better or for worse. It’s been much of how I’ve been able to find a way to just continue to persist, even amidst various (self-inflicted or selfishly derived) confrontations with where I wanted to move next. I have just gotten a hell of a lot more confident in my ability to just take life’s punches and roll with them because I need to live another day (however dire or serious that may sound). I have to keep not letting life dictate how I want to live. That feels a little corny to say or articulate, but it’s real.