Prioritizing My Values

I really hate being sick.

I was thinking this to myself as I sat in bed all of Sunday and Monday this past week, getting frustrated at how much my body just didn’t want to help me get through the work I had. I had, for the first time in what feels like almost a year, gotten decked and felt like I got hit by a car for a brief period. It’s in those moments of isolation and in those moments where you really just get the chance to sit back a bit and reflect in a vulnerable state. You know what it means to just think through life in a period where you don’t have the capacity to do much else.

I think something I’ve gotten the chance to consider a lot more in the last week is just reminding myself how much more seriously I take my politics as a component of my daily life in a way I know feels challenging for other people my age. It feels kind of pointless at times to be so convicted in my beliefs or in the vision I have for the world. But on the other hand, I also think that I’ve come to the conclusions I have about the world in a sobering and clear manner that just makes things come through so clearly for me. In a space particularly like the institution I go to, this constant push towards having to be socially cool with everyone, even those you know have material ties to exploiting those in your community (however expansively you define community) or people feels ridiculous.