Processing Without Rationalizing

How do I process something without rationalizing it?

My friend was telling me to think about the world and the recent events in my life with this sort of vision moving forward. There’s a sort of maturity and acceptance of knowing that there are things outside the realm of our control. It’s challenging to have to recognize at some points in life things really will be so gutwrenching that it is best to just not try to rationalize it. It can cause too much volatility at times in how we attempt to just make it through each day intact, questioning why sometimes things just continuously never go our way.

My family dog, Lucky, passed this week. To lose a member of our family that’s been here longer than not has been so devastating for me to deal with. I’ve felt just constantly numb, disinterested in almost any of my interests, and lost the ability to focus on much. Hell, even writing this week’s blog post has felt like such a daunting task precisely because how this is the first week I’m writing the blog without him in our lives. I have been trying to selfishly go about my life, trying to find distractions that would give me at least a bit of time from grieving, but I keep ending up at the end of the day just really sad.

I think another component of what’s been eating me up is how much I laugh at where my life has been these last twelve…